How to Deal with Grudges

Is there someone in your life you hold a grudge against? Thinking of them brings up feelings of anger or unfairness or disappointment. Or maybe even other negative emotions.

We’ve been wronged by this person, and the memory is painful.

There’s a line in A Course in Miracles that says, “frightened people can be vicious.” And we all know vicious people. At some point we, too, have been vicious, at least in our thoughts.

While we aren’t responsible for the viciousness of other people and their awful actions, we do get to choose the meaning we give it. Think back to Lesson 2 in the Course: “I have given everything I see all the meaning that it has for me.”

When we hold a grudge against someone – when we have bitter feelings toward another – then we are denying their equality in the Sonship. Sure their ego has acted viciously. So has ours. And both of them are calls for love, not for judgment.

There is a beautiful line in the Course that reads, “The ark of peace is entered two by two.” Obviously this is an homage to the Noah biblical story, but what it means is that peace is only found when we walk hand-in-hand with our brother – not sword on sword.

To be clear, this does not mean we simply condone hateful ego actions. But it does mean that our responsibility is to step out of our own ego so that we can respond to cries for help with love and not judgment.