The Perils of Punishment-Minded Feedback

For a couple years I worked under a nasty boss. He was very smart, but dreadfully upsetting. Not a single mistake escaped his attention, nor his insufferable frankness.

No matter how much was completed with superb quality, he'd find something that was wrong or could have been better. And the feedback was often scathingly confrontational. "How could you have missed this? What were you thinking?"

His tactics certainly led to higher quality products, but they came at a steep cost. No one wanted to continue working for him.

There are many ways to motivate toward desired behavior, some much more effective than others.

Like training a new pet. If you punish the animal for bad behavior, you might produce some semblance of compliance. But how does it make the pet feel? And the owner?

Punishment-minded feedback always leads to pain and sorrow for all involved. Positive reinforcement of the behaviors we desire are far, far more constructive. And kind.

We all have within us that nasty boss / pet owner, as well as a gentle, compassionate director.

Any time we judge or demean ourselves ("you're not good enough") in any manner, we're delivering that awful, punishment-minded feedback. Likewise whenever we make a big deal out of others' mistakes.

If someone holds a belief that differs greatly from ours or takes action completely counter to any deed we'd undertake - there are two ways we can see that. Our "nasty boss" would jump all over it. "Can you believe he/she ... ! What were they thinking?!"

Or, we can instead turn to our kind guide who always begins with a gentle smile. And from a place of deep peace and compassionate love for all would flow forth the most helpful, effective counsel for everyone involved.

Remove your focus on your brother's [and your own] sins, and you experience the peace that comes from faith in sinlessness. This faith receives its only sure support from what you see in others past their sins. (W-pI.181.2)

Join me in Thursday's Zoom class where we'll explore how to see beyond all forms of error and become better "bosses". We'll learn what it's like to consistently experience and spread joyous tranquility. I look forward to seeing you then.